Giant Screws, Giant Spiders, and One Dirty Duck!

I have been ducking my blogging duties (pun possibly intended) because when I have big things on my mind, I tend to clam up.  Since I prefer to compare myself to water foul rather than seafood, I decided I had better remedy this.

While I have milled about pondering my future in triathlon, specifically that portion of triathlon that stands between my beloved bike and the finish line, I have been riding... a lot.  And with an increase in riding often comes an increase in the associated obstacles: in this case, flat tires and mechanical failures.

It all started with Big C getting his chain link panties in a wad.  By wad, I mean this:

Chain link panties all wadded up!

Can you see the keeper wedged into the links?
Not how that is supposed to look!

I had to call a friend for a ride home for the first time in my riding career.  Well, I shouldn't have gotten too comfy with that idea since one of the downsides to my lifestyle is that unless I am at a horse show, it is unlikely that I would be anywhere near a friend to call. Fortunately, this little mechanical happened during a show and I called my friend who is best known as Wilbur's beloved Auntie D (who has one wicked throwing arm!).  Auntie D, who is in the process of remaking herself in the image of a cyclist, came to my rescue since Big C had told me where I could stuff it.

That little mechanical was like the first big raindrops before the deluge begins.

Next, I went for a group ride on Little C and  three blocks into the ride, picked up a screw.  Not just any screw but the screw you would want Cerebus' chain bolted to while you are stealing his breakfast.  It was a really big screw.  I was of course riding with the shop guys for the first time and wearing my shiny new (WHITE) team kit for the first time.  No pressure.  I hadn't had to change a flat in so long, I was all thumbs.  Well, that got changed and I was suitably mortified.  Then (and possibly because of this), my breathing went south and I decided that today was not my day.  I peeled off from the group and rode home.  Later that day, I rode solo and put down a confidence boosting effort.

THIS big!! I swear!!

Two days later, I went out on Little C again.  I knew it was going to be raining but I reminded myself that I don't melt and I can't choose the weather on race day.  I kicked myself out the door.

Like water off a duck's back, right??

 I was about halfway home on an out and back when I rolled through standing water on a bridge and both tires immediately ruptured.  I changed my flats but the front was not holding air.  I would later find a tiny shred of embedded glass that was only apparent when the tire was stretched inside out.  I was now out of tubes.  I rode a few minutes before the front was totally flat again, added more CO2, and repeated... until the CO2 was also gone.  Then I started walking.

And I walked.  7 miles... SEVEN... as in more than a 10K... 7 miles home in cleats.. with no socks... and wet feet.  About 2/3 of the way home when I saw blood coming up over the edges of the shoes, I found a cotton plant growing wild on the roadside.  On a whim, I picked the wad of cotton and stuffed it in my shoes to protect the shredded parts of my feet.  I don't think it really worked but it made for a good story.

No kidding.  Wild cotton.
I am Mac-effing-gyver!

I made it home covered in a pretty spectacular amount of road grim but otherwise in one piece.  My cleats were not so fortunate and were replaced the next day.

Road grime at it's finest!

A couple of days later, I showed up to a Tuesday morning group ride on Wednesday morning... yeah, one of those days... and decided to tackle the hills of West Austin solo.  The first road hazard I encountered on this ride was a spider.  A big spider. A spider so large and creepy that I would have thrown myself into traffic to avoid it.  I didn't realize that tarantulas went cruising down the side of the highways in Texas but now I know.  Big.  BIG... ENORMOUS... tarantula.  You cannot imagine how creepy they are when they crawl because unlike little spiders, you see every articulated movement.  ***shiver***

It most likely looked like this...

...but I saw this...

...and did this!

Later,  as I was crossing highway 360, which is a huge road and getting across is no joke, I encountered the next hazard of the day.  I made it into the left turn lane to cross traffic and turn around, when suddenly the bike went bumpity-bump-bump.  ANOTHER damn flat.  This time it was a nail and I was now stuck in what I would not consider to be a very safe place.  (Forget the cars, what if there was another spider!!)  I stood on the median of a major highway and changed that sucker.  The number of people, both on bikes and in cars (mostly with bikes on the back) that holler to me to make sure I didn't need help was a credit to Austinites and cyclists in general.

Flat no. 5: much better than spiders.

And finally, to round out a nice schedule from coach Brain, I did the Austin 70.3 course with a group.  In keeping with tradition, I missed a turn (not paying attention) and did part of the course backwards.  I also got a flat tire.  This time it was a microscopic bit of wire that was almost undetectable, except for the air hissing out around it.

Wilbur and I both like to sport cat 4 tattoos!

That flat rounded out the total at 6 flats in 9 days.  I really shouldn't publish this right now since my next move is to go ride my bike.  But I can't resist the opportunity to tempt fate!