I find it funny how I can want to... need to... write consistently for an extended period, then suddenly have absolutely no desire to put my experiences down at all. I guess the last 6 months have been such a period of change that I haven't felt entirely sure of what to say or how to say it.
To bring you up to speed...
As you may know, I made the switch to cycling last year after I finally had to admit that my body and triathlon were just not getting along. I started racing in February and have done a number of time trials on the road and on the track, a crit, a stage race, and a road race. The crit went fine for a first time and I walked away with a midpack finish against higher ranked riders and a lot of knowledge. The TT's have all been quite successful.. enough that I've started to be unhappy with winning the women's side and wanting to take the OA wins. The road races both in the stage race and the stand alone have been utterly miserable experiences. I am finding that I am struggling, more than I ever did with triathlon, to figure out how to race these things and, more importantly, how to have fun.
I realized recently when I read the blogs of two people and realized that one was getting treatment for an unusual condition that sounded a lot like what the other was struggling to get diagnosed, that sometimes the value of a blog isn't in posting happy race results, bragging, or otherwise letting the world know how great you want them to think your life is (we have facebook for that) but in sharing your real experiences in the hopes that maybe someone else is able to identify with you. If discussing the trial and difficulties (as well as the good stuff) makes a positive difference for one person then it was well worth the time to write it out.
So I'm dusting off this page and taking anyone that wishes to join me along for the ride.
I'm Duckie. I am no longer a triathlete. I am struggling to find my place in the peloton. I have legs like tree trunks and a great big monkey on my back named "fear". But I love to ride my bike and I crave competition so giving up is just not an option. I have to figure this shit out.