I did find out that when I am not pressing the pace, it is much easier to forget hydration and nutrition. At one point, I did a short sprint and realized I had no gas in the tank. That was when it dawned on me that I had consumed less than four hundred calories in six hours and had completed a run and most of a long ride. Also, I had taken in about 1/3 of a bottle of water in 90 mins. (Wow, I hope DW doesn't know this blog exists!) I quickly ate a gel and drank some water but ended up only being able to pick the pace up slightly after leaving the group. There is a strong lesson here. Had that been a race, I would have blown it.
I was being petulant, cranky, and stubborn with DW on the phone today. I have been getting easily irritated by my less than stellar run paces. He keeps trying to get me to forget the pace and relax into the run. I keep wondering why I am arguing with him on this point. I don't want to enjoy running. I want to get better at it. I enjoy working hard on a problem and seeing the result of that hard work. Running is such a thorn in my side because I feel hopeless when I do it. If I am really focusing on my breath, form, pace, etc, then I am doing my job and the feelings of hopelessness don't take over.
The problem with feeling that way is that I really want to see certain results down the road. The idea that I will always suck at this scares the daylights out of me. I get angry because I have a fight/flight instinct that is perversely weighted to the fight side. When I get scared, I respond with logic, determination/stubbornness, and ultimately, anger. Ultimately, the solution is, well, working on a solution.
On another note, the drive to Texas was a little bit eventful. I had to stop in Lake Charles while a big, bad, nasty storm sat just west of me and blew itself out.
Clearly, my co-pilots were not worried.
But travel can still be just exhausting!!