Century Post!

It nearing the end of the season in Florida.  This horse show has, as it always is, been totally grueling.  We are all worn down and exhausted.  The horses are tired and cranky.  People are starting to fall apart and details are getting overlooked.  Two weeks ago a competitor was killed in the warm-up arena.  Last week I passed another braider who was crying in her car not sure how she could get through the night.  This week I found out that another had a serious breakdown and is headed home while yet another ended up having an ambulance called for her after collapsing due to dehydration and a possible blood clot.  Last night I encountered a competitor who was drunk and locked out of her rental car in the pouring rain.  Rather than let me call her a cab, she broke the window in frustration and drove off.

I am a little numb but doing okay.

I am grateful tonight for the changes in my life.

I am grateful that I made the decision to respect myself and my limitations.

I suddenly view the damage to my left hand as a blessing as it has made it impossible to work the grueling hours on the ladder that I have in past years.

I may not have made the money I would have liked but I am alive, well, sane, and I have successfully maintained my training through the Winter Equestrian Festival, the longest and arguably hardest equestrian event in the world.

It's not over yet but I see the finish line and I know I am going to make it.   Next week is my last week in Florida.  Then I head to Houston for a grueling three day week horse show that runs back to back six day stretches so there is no day off.  It is the biggest show on the Texas calendar.  But if I maintain the level of self care that I have thus far, I will survive it too.  Then I go home.

I am ready to go home.

This is the Duck's 100th post.  I am a very different person than I was when I started this blog.  I just reread my original post and got a good chuckle.   I aspired to update it daily (HA!) and didn't see an ounce of athletic virtue in myself.  A lot has happened in that time and the differences in me are both small and profound.  I am not sure if I am substantially faster, fitter, or thinner (I am at least some of each), though I have a level of consistency in my life I have never enjoyed before.  I believe in myself and my own possibility.  I just trained through WEF.  Last year I had no posts and virtually no training during this period.  I also took a massive virtual and physical hiatus during my summer busy season due to injury and being overwhelmed.  This year I am learning how to balance my life.  I am happier than I have ever been, though I still whine a lot in these pages (my blog, my prerogative!)  Most importantly, I feel empowered to risk everything to live my life on my terms.  I have started to change and it no longer scares me.  I also know that I need to center my life around my passion, my health, my terms.

"You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore." -Christopher Columbus (and he would know!)

In my life, I am preparing to make room for some substantial change.  I am preparing to let the shore slip beyond the horizon.

It's the Duck's CENTURY post!!  Stick around.  It only gets better.

Whoo hoo!

Here's to being BATMAN!!