Well, it's Thursday and I am still struggling with my sleep. I am now in week three of sleeping poorly and my humor has worn very thin. It is so frustrating since I had another bad workout, my nights at work are getting torturous, and I KNOW exactly what all that cortisol is doing to my body. Even though I am sleeping better than I did the first week, the accumulated fatigue means that I am just as tired. I'm cranky with the customers and the horses, really body sore, bitter, and frustrated... all from lack of sleep. I was really dismayed when it took both days off for me to rally this past Tuesday and that by Wednesday, I was trashed again. THAT is not a good sign going into the weekend (the busiest part of the week).
I have a hard 90 minute interval workout down for today, which at this point I am dreading. There is nothing worse than pushing to the limit and falling short of the target just because of fatigue. Tomorrow night is just a swim and I may try to take that night off. There is a balance with insomnia between maintaining as much of your normal rhythm as possible and recognizing that there is very little recovery happening. This is a hazard for anyone that works night shift but that fact doesn't help when you are so tired you hallucinate (oh, yeah! Been there a few times..) and are experiencing first hand why sleep deprivation is acknowledged as a form of torture.
Unfortunately, whining about it doesn't help. At some point, my body will give in and I will sleep through the night (well, day... but whatever.) I would prefer when that moment comes to have maintained my program so I don't have to "get back into the groove" but I am also wary of overtraining. When I get the proper sleep, it is pretty amazing how quickly my body heals but it takes very little to overflow the kettle when it is not emptied every night.