Sometimes It's Not Enough

It's been a while since I posted.  A lot has happened but then, such is life.

First, I want to CONGRATULATE Cort The Sport on her Boston Marathon finish.

Second, I want to offer my condolences to the victims and their families.  There are no words to describe the horror of an event like that.  There have been so many good posts and articles about the tragedy, I don't feel that anyone would benefit from my additions.  There right words are out there.  Read them.  Feel them.  Mourn the people who lost life and limb.  Nothing I could say would be enough.

While I cannot hold onto my own issues as true problems in the wake of this, they require addressing nonetheless.

I came out of the last horse show and have had two weeks off at home.  I had a huge, HUGE, HUGE (like really enormous, elephantine, gargantuan... EPIC) block of training planned for those weeks.  I started to really struggle towards the end of the first (easier) week of training.  Then the wheels fell off the bus.  I know the feeling.  I've been there a million times before.  My body refused and the second week of training ended up a big, fat FAIL.  DD (Brian of Accelerate 3 coaching, who uses the online name Desert Dude... hence DD) modified the training daily and got me through it.  By the weekend, I was back to reasonable training form, though looking over my data, I am forced to admit that my paces and speeds were still off by quite a bit, even though I was at least able to do the workouts.  I was still sleeping too much and felt generally poor throughout the day.

When I felt my body start to unravel, I called the doc and immediately went for blood work.  Sure enough, my thyroid levels had bottomed out again.  Meds were adjusted and I am going back for another followup in a few weeks.  It was kind of a relief.  It is truly amazing how willing I am to assume that I am struggling to produce speeds and paces because I just suck.  The idea that when I don't feel good something might genuinely be wrong still eludes me.

In the meantime, I have a race next weekend.  What to do?  I could try to downgrade to the sprint.  I don't feel like I am ready to produce a decent performance at olympic distance and the sprint is practically tailor made for my strengths.  I could scratch from the race entirely.  I could do the Olympic and try not to push the envelope too hard and call it educational.  A week is not enough time for the meds to kick in so I will be working with a weakened body, likely incapable of producing normal results or normal recovery.

Right now, I am leaning towards the sprint because it brings the race down to a manageable distance and finishing that should be comfortable within my current levels of fitness.  I will have to let go of my drive to win or at least improve on this one.  I am likely to push hard even if I plan to coast and it will at least make the race short enough that I am unlikely to dig a hole, or at least a big one.  Chances are that I won't have enough gas in the tank by then to do anything really solid in terms of performance.  It will be a huge mental challenge not to get upset if I don't like the results.  That, by itself, will probably be so good for me that it is reason enough to do the race.

Once again, my body drives home the point that sometimes the will to succeed is not enough.

Fortunately, tomorrow is another day.

Lost Duck!

TODAY I RAN MY FIRST TRIATHLON!!

Now for a race report....

I raced with my friend JS who is wicked fast.  Fast enough to have sponsors.  She is kind of a gazelle but she's pretty awesome so she's allowed on these pages.  She helped me set up my transition area and was right there for me all the way up to the start of the race.  BIG shout out to JS!! 

Then she raced in the elite group (those crazy fast folks that win these things) and placed third.  She went off in the first wave and I went off in the last with the First Timers division.  I saw her leave the water and head for the bike and then it was time for me to get ready.  Kept control of the nerves... amazingly!  As they were counting down, I started my watch.  Apparently, starting a watch is the hardest part of a triathlon.  I pushed the button too many times and when the starter went off, I was pushing buttons.  I ended up surrounded by swimmers and was never able to find any swimming space.  I finished behind where I would have liked but in one piece. 

I headed up to the bike transition but there was a loooong sand run getting there.  The old foot didn't like that much so I had to walk/jog it.  Spent a very long time (sat down, had a sandwich, knitted a sweater) getting on my bike.  But once I was on it, I took off like a Duck out of Hell!!  I steadily passed riders for five miles and was feeling pretty froggy.  AAANND... then I took a wrong turn.  After I realized what I had done, I returned to the course and assumed I had been disqualified.  Nonetheless, I was angry.  I bolted off in zoom mode and re-passed entirely too many riders.  I finished the bike feeling strong and still pretty angry. 

I dawdled less at T2, but still managed to take twice as long as JS (did she freakin' fold space/time?).  I headed off on the run but about a mile into it there was a stretch of grass and sand that had gotten a little deep.  By halfway through, my foot felt like there were knives in it.  I had promised RW that I would go easy if I felt pain.  I figured I'm disqualified anyhow so I walked a while, jogged a bit walked some more, stopped and stretched it out... twice.  Then jogged to the finish line and crossed it feeling a dose of that personal pride that comes with finishing your first Tri, no matter how badly you performed.

When I got done, I checked the results to confirm that I was, in fact, disqualified.  I wasn't.  I was in sixth place.  Seriously?!?!?!  If I had known, I might have gotten out of "mosey" and run a little.  Of course that probably would have been a huge setback in my training, so it's probably just as well.  Silver lining, perhaps.

On a personal note... I was waiting for some work to be done on my car so that I could drive to California and start my new job.  Except that on Friday (after I moved out of my apartment, after I forwarded my mail, after I said goodbye and told everyone out west I was coming, after I bought a vehicle to use BUT before I actually started working, yeah... so thrilled), they pulled the plug and fired me.  So now I am not moving to CA.  Instead, I am staying in Florida, working the horse shows on the road and going to pursue the necessary education to start a career in the fitness industry.  Diet and exercise has changed my life and I would love to spend my days helping other people discover the joy of a full and vital life!!

RACING THIS WEEKEND!!!!

Well folks... I was supposed to leave for California on the 1st.  Unfortunately, my car died and needed a proper burial.  The only obvious solution was to purchase a new one.  I did that.  THAT car lasted 12 hours.  I still have not left for California.  I spent ten days in a hotel before my friend/teammate took mercy on me and moved me into her spare room.  Since then, it has been a crash course on living with children.  And I thought triathlon was a challenge!!

Actually, her kids are a delightful pair, intelligent, friendly and a constant source of entertainment.  The other morning I stumbled down the stairs with only one though percolating in my grey matter..... coffee.  I was greeted by a bright and shiny child who was, ahem, in need of a wipe.  I'll leave the rest of the sordid details to the imagination.  I stopped on the stairs, blinked several times like a startled deer, and ran up to find Mommy.  "Mommy" was out on a ten mile run... I was on my own to solve the crisis at hand.  Coffee (whimper) would have to wait.  I am a better person and, as with most of life's challenges, finished thinking that it was really not as difficult as expected.  Consider this duck broken in!

This weekend I am going to run my first triathlon.  I am poorly prepared as I only started back running recently, but the opportunity to run my first race with friends ("Mommy" in particular) and in this lovely state was too good to pass up.  Life lately has been a series of missed races so I decided to go for it.  RW has instructed me to go very easy on the run, walking if necessary, to avoid re-injury.  I will do my best to keep that in the forefront of my mind.  I did an indoor tri session today and got a different water bottle on the bike.  It's all lubed up and ready to go.  The race is four days away and really... butterflies already?

Tail feathers up duck!!  It's time to quit talkin' and start tri-in'!