I Did Not Run Today

I did not run today.  I ran the last three days.  Four miles on Saturday, six Sunday, and four Monday, but nothing today.  Today I felt totally wiped out and lightheaded.  I didn't run.  That should be no big deal considering I am nine days out from laying in the ER screaming in pain.  My blood work supports the notion that I probably do feel pretty rotten.  I probably could have justified not having gotten back on my feet yet at all.  And yet, I miss a day and I feel worse for having missed it than I did physically, which was the justification for taking a day off in the first place.

I am off the pain meds (THANK GOODNESS) so that is not a contributing factor.  My blood work is probably normalizing to it's usual sub-par state.  I had some pain today but nothing unmanageable.  I really have no reason to feel the way I do right now.  Except for that tiny detail:  The absolutely shitty F****** month I have had that is always lurking in my peripheral.  I felt a little like a human the last few days and I realize it is because I ran, even though it was slow and painful.

I didn't run.  Instead I spent the day in a ever increasing fatigue induced funk.  Apparently, I am hardwired to train.  Like some of aero loving shark, I have to keep moving or suffer the consequences.  I will run tomorrow.  I don't care how slow or painful it is... I must move.

I MUST.. STOP.... CRASHING... MY BIKE.