Friday, January 18, 2013

In A Word... DUCK!

There was a recent thread in the women's forum of a popular triathlon website that was titled "Dumb Sh*t That Guys Say...".  The responses were a hoot.  It got me thinking about the odd things that people have said to me over the years.  Many of these were during my days in Martial Arts so consider the context.  I thought I would share some of them with you.  

One of the masters and former champion in sparring ringside before one of my most intimidating matches: "If you can kick ME in the cup, you can beat anyone."

Same instructor during a particularly tough conditioning class "GET THERE, G.I. JANE!!!!" (I was thinking "I hate you")

A former classmate after we reconnected on Facebook:  "It's legendary.  I still tell my student the stories of how you would enjoy kicking guys in the cup."  (Enjoy?  I'm not a sadist.)

(are we sensing a theme here... don't judge, it was legal!)

Another former classmate via Facebook:  "I still can't watch 'The Matrix' without thinking of you. That scene where Trinity says 'Dodge THIS!'... That was so YOU!"  

A teacher from another school (who I happened to think was really cute): "Your feet are HUGE!  You must have great balance!"  (Seriously???)  

And in the same vein... 

On a date recently in Austin, the first thing he said after hello was:  "Look at your calves!  They're HUGE!  I mean they are bigger than MINE!" (Awesome.  Date over.)

A personal trainer who used to have his female clients sometimes workout with guys to build their confidence said this when I asked why he didn't do that with me: "It's one thing to give a girl confidence but you would crush some poor guy's soul!"  (Spiders, dude.  I am putting spiders in your bed.)

A competitor, as she passed me in the last .25 mile of a race that I had dominated on the bike.  "I thought you'd WON it!"  (ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!)

A lifeguard at a local pool:  "You must lift a ton of weights.  You're huge!"  (Really, buddy?)  "I mean you're just super stacked!"  (Nope.  Not a save.)

A co-worker describing how I look when I am stressed at work: "You have this walk.  You're shoulders get really broad and you march... looking down but not like you are looking away... more like you are daring anyone to meet your gaze."  (What am I?  The Terminator?)

Another co-worker:  "I don't have to see your face to know it's you.  I can tell by THAT WALK!!"

A former riding instructor: "You walk like you are on your way to kill someone."  

OKAY, OKAY!  So I have a purposeful walk... I get it.  It doesn't change the fact that I run like a duck!

DW, after I sustained a concussion in a bike crash.  The ER docs wanted someone to call me later to make sure I was making sense before I went to sleep:  "So I'll just give you a ring before I go to bed and make sure you are not talking crazy.. well, no crazier than usual, anyhow." (I might just leave that one alone.) 

The owner of the bike shop I frequented when I first started riding:  "My God!  Look at those quads!! You are gonna be Hell on a bicycle!"  (Oh, yeah.  Big thighs.  Every girls dream.  Took that one as a compliment though.)

Then there was today... a car pulled up behind me while I was on the bike, stopped at a light.  The guy rolled down the window and gave me a thumbs up:  "You are in amazing shape!  Great work!  Keep it up!"  (Thanks) "How many miles are you going today?" (about 25)  "Oh WOW!!!  God Bless You!"  I rode away with a smile.

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