Still Running Like A Duck!

This week was certainly better.  As I had posted previously, I had one big hiccup on Wednesday due to gluten.  I ended up missing the day of training and turned temporarily into Rip Van Winkle (slept all day).  Since then, my body has rebounded nicely.  Thursday ended up being a nice, sharp run and the rest of the week followed (except for a horribly slow run Saturday, but more about that in a moment).  I did a group ride Sunday and was thoroughly challenged but still was able to put in a good session in the pool a few hours later.

Today was an easier day with a simple ride and continuous swim.  I almost got into trouble on the ride with nutrition.  I was in a really good head space, totally in the moment, riding well.  There was no chatter in the brain, just pure, simple, relaxed focus.  It's a state of mind that I find tough to reach outside of swimming.  I did a loop that I did a few weeks ago with the group and finally managed the whole thing without any wrong turns.  I still had my directions on a piece of tape on my handlebars but as it turned out, I rarely needed them.  I just rode and it was just right.

The aero bottle bracket serves all kinds of purposes.

On the way back into town, I passed another cyclist on a TT bike and it broke my focus a little.  It was probably a good thing since a few minutes later, I BONKED.  I was going 25 and then I was going 7... mph.  I realized that I was well into a long workout and a little late for a second gel and should have been halfway through my second bottle of water.  I hadn't touched either.  That is a big no-no for me... really for anyone in Texas on a mid-nineties day at noon.  I actually pulled over, ate a gel, and drank a half a bottle of water.  I was worried that my stomach would revolt, but it handled it fine.  I started back and a few minutes later, I was back in action.  I finished the ride feeling really strong.

I have been riding really well lately.  Even my pool work has been strong in spite of struggling a bit with some slipping form.  I can really tell I am getting stronger.  SO... that run can come together anytime.  ANYTIME.  please?

It is extremely frustrating how slow I am running.  I have lost a great deal of weight (still have plenty left but if you go by :02/mile per lb then I can attribute about 140% of my current pace improvements to weight loss... haven't even seen the full :02/lb yet), I have been training diligently, I feel like I have earned this.  I expect that the overall trend in my running is better.  I have more days than not where the pace is approaching reasonable (not fast, but not humiliating) and fewer days where the workout reports make me want to cry. I guess I just didn't expect it to be this stubborn.  To be this HARD to improve my running.  I look around and I see people who I know have less overall fitness than I do, often rank beginners and people with a lot of weight to lose, and they can run two, three, even four minutes faster per mile than I can.  I can't honestly figure out what I am doing wrong.  Or is it just this tough?

I feel like this waaaay too much!

 

I can accept it if it is just hard.  I worry that I am innately flawed and inadequate to the task.  Perhaps running is just not in the cards for me.  Perhaps.  I am not willing to give up until I have exhausted all the possibilities.  One person suggested that I put the bike in the garage and hang up the goggles... and just run for a year or two.  And he was the owner of a local bike shop!  I think I would stick a fork in my eye if I had to do that, but I have actually been considering it.  Maybe I would find peace with the process.  I LOVE to ride and really enjoy swimming as well.  I could easily be a pure cyclist and have been a pure swimmer in the past both as a kid and in a master's program.  But could the Duck JUST run?  I don't honestly know.  I might break.  I might break physically.  I might break mentally.  Testing those waters seems extremely dicey to me.

I think that I get outside my comfort zone but maybe I am really just comfortable with a certain level of suffering.

For now, the jury is out... and probably hung.  I don't have an answer or any wisdom to quote but I know that something is out of balance with my run and I don't know what is going to correct it.  Maybe it's just going to be a slow process.  Maybe I need to find a running group.  Maybe I need to consider doing my speed work at a track.  Maybe I need to strap rockets to my shoes!!

I have a scheduled call with DW tomorrow.  I have spent so much time whining about my run that doubt I will even bring it up... for now.  In the meantime, I will continue to put one proverbial foot in front of the other. 

I hope so.